My name is Paola Franceschetti, and I live and work in Bollate as a Reflexologist and Practitioner in Energy Techniques.
I first encountered Andrea and the Techniques in 2010, during a complex period in my life. It was a time when joy and challenges were intertwined. I had just met Tiziano, my husband, which led to my personal blossoming, yet I was also caring for two severely disabled parents. Inside, I was a boiling pot of unresolved emotions.
I was an anxious person: to sleep, I had to take anxiolytics, to which I had become dependent. I easily clashed with others, constantly doubting myself, and then feeling guilty for my anger. I was both judge and defendant in my own court. My inner world knew no shades of grey—it was rigid, uncompromising, and punitive, afflicted by what I call “Taleban syndrome.”
Meeting the Techniques marked my rebirth.
When I look back, I see a completely different person, and many of the mental “traps” that once held me don’t exist anymore. Consistent practice calmed me, gradually reducing my anxiety and anger. It allowed me to glimpse new perspectives in various areas of my life. My instinct to engage in conflict faded, expanding my ability to listen to others and to the situations that arise (unforeseen events, for instance, used to throw me into a tailspin, triggering headaches due to the belief that I wasn’t capable of handling them or performance anxiety out of fear of making mistakes and being judged). With TAI, I became calmer and more mentally clear, enabling me to see the best solutions.
Letting go of deeply ingrained rigidity and the fears that sustained it wasn’t easy, but I now contemplate the vastness of human differences without fear or feeling threatened. I’m more connected to my personal power and to what I believe is right for me, independent of others’ opinions.
There’s still work to be done in some areas, but with every step, I feel that my defenses, which need balancing, are lowering, and my inner freedom and stability are growing. These are guiding me toward what I truly want to be and express. My view of myself has profoundly transformed: I now recognize my value, see my strengths and talents, and can embrace my vulnerabilities with compassion.
Finally, I can see myself and love myself more balanced—capable of objectivity, understanding, and providing new, encouraging, and benevolent stimuli, even in the face of mistakes, without being inconsistent.
This is the latest milestone I am reaching with TAI and the Techniques I’ve learned: unconditional acceptance. Toward myself, the world, and others. Always moving forward, always… now… with joy.
Accepting the Death of a Child
I met Elena a month before she passed away. She was a young woman of 45, with bright eyes and an active mind, her smile genuine despite her illness and the awareness of her approaching death. She was open to new experiences, as her mother told me she had always been.
She wanted to try Foot Reflexology, a practice I offer alongside EFT and PET, and she found it beneficial: she relaxed, her pain subsided, and she was finally able to rest after difficult days.
I was struck by the steady strength emanating from her heart, which enabled her not to burden the situation further, neither for herself nor for those around her. We even laughed often together, and I was fascinated by her courage, which I will always carry with me to nurture my own.
We had a few more sessions, all pleasant, as we chatted while I treated her. She stayed at her mother Gabriella’s house, and Gabriella told me, “We’ll see each other later—I will need you.”
Elena passed away on June 3, 2022.
For Gabriella, the hardest time began: the fatigue that overtakes you after months of adrenaline, years spent between anxiety and hope, combined with the emptiness, the loss, and the memories still vivid and sometimes unbearable.
Gabriella called me, and we began Reflexology sessions. As we worked, she confided her torments, and the tears flowed. She especially shared that the third day of each month became unbearable. Before 3 a.m.—the time when Elena passed—Gabriella would wake up, and the anxiety would surge. The sequence of those final moments replayed in her mind, and she couldn’t go back to sleep.
I told her about Energy Techniques and how they could help her dissolve the emotional intensity of those scenes that kept replaying, along with all their weight of pain. But Gabriella wasn’t ready yet.
FIRST SESSION
The right time for her came in mid-October. Gabriella was overwhelmed by anxiety, reflecting on Elena’s situation and feeling consumed by grief. She couldn’t go on like that anymore.
Her anxiety level was at 9, and she felt it in her chest and throat. She thought she couldn’t bear what had happened or move forward, despite having another daughter and two beautiful granddaughters who filled her days.
I began with EFT, so we could gently enter into that excruciating pain.
“Even though I have this pain in my heart that keeps me from sleeping, everything can change.
Even though I have this pain that keeps me from breathing, I open myself to the possibility of loving myself just as I am, with all my emotions and reactions.
Even though it feels like I can’t bear this pain, I welcome what I feel and open myself to the possibility that it can transform.”
Gradually, the anxiety dropped to 7. I decided to switch to TAI and work on her fear of not being able to cope:
- “I take back my power and release the energy trapped in the belief that I can’t make it without Elena.”
- “I let go of the attachment and identification with this belief.”
- “I create order and balance within myself in relation to this belief.”
Her anxiety dropped to 4. I asked Gabriella what still triggered her remaining anxiety when she thought back to that night. Without hesitation, she said, through tears, “Her labored, heavy breathing.”
I asked her to focus on her first Dantian, connected to Elena’s strained breathing:
- “I take back my power and release the energy trapped in Elena’s breathing.”
- “I let go of the attachment and identification with Elena’s breathing.”
- “I create order and balance within myself in relation to Elena’s breathing.”
Gabriella was astonished at how her sensations shifted inside her. She had arrived in such deep pain, and now, after just a few rounds of Techniques, she felt lighter, as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders.
For the first session, we finished here. We scheduled another appointment for the 2nd of the following month to prepare for the difficult day of remembrance.
SECOND SESSION
Gabriella returned filled with anger. Elena’s breathing no longer disturbed her, but now, the overwhelming feeling was a sense of injustice for how Elena had been treated multiple times—rushing to the hospital only to find that the terminally ill and their families weren’t given the care and respect they deserved.
Her anger was at 8, lodged in her throat. We began to work on what Gabriella said she had wished for Elena during those terrible moments of confusion:
- “I take back my power and release the energy trapped in the fantasy ‘This shouldn’t have happened.'”
- “I let go of the attachment and identification with this fantasy.”
- “I create order and balance within myself in relation to this fantasy.”
Other fantasies surfaced, and we worked on them all:
- “They should have been more loving.”
- “They should have taken better care of her.”
- “They should have done more.”
After several rounds, the grip of anger began to loosen. She recalled many scenes from those chaotic moments—images of Elena in pain and exhausted, and the cold words of the doctors.
We addressed these with TAI:
- “Elena’s eyes.”
- “Her surrounded by doctors.”
- “The doctors’ words.”
- “The tone of their words.”
Gabriella couldn’t believe she could think back to what had happened in a different way. She was increasingly amazed at how the Techniques worked so quickly and profoundly to transform the intense emotions she had arrived with.
We even did a round on the 3rd of the month and what it signified for Gabriella:
- “I take back my power and release the energy trapped in the 3rd and what it means to me.”
- “I let go of all attachment and identification with the 3rd and what it means to me.”
- “I create order and balance within myself in relation to the 3rd and what it means to me.”
Gabriella felt as if something had “left her body,” and while the pain remained, it was more bearable. She was exhausted but happy to feel better. She was curious to see how she would sleep that night, wondering if she would wake up with that crushing weight on her heart.
The next day, I received a joyful message: she had slept through the night, deeply and restoratively.
THIRD SESSION
Several months passed. I kept in touch with Gabriella—she occasionally came to me for Foot Reflexology sessions—and I noticed, both in her eyes and her words, a woman less burdened and more capable of living with her memories and pain in greater balance. She was happy about this.
However, at some point, another memory began to resurface and torment her. It was also the Christmas season, a delicate time for dear ones.
Promptly, Gabriella decided to return because she no longer wanted to live with such a destructive burden. She now knew the tools to help her, though she preferred to come to me rather than practice on her own.
The memory was still tied to Elena, specifically to the last two days before her death, when they brought her home, barely alive, and laid her on the bed. She was extremely weak, now resigned and aware.
Gabriella remembered that they had essentially “thrown” her onto the mattress. She recalled Elena surrendering, exhausted, without the energy she had spent years fighting for recovery, to which Gabriella had grown accustomed. The memory triggered 9-level anguish in her, felt in her lungs, preventing her from fully breathing (as had happened in the first session—her subconscious connection to her daughter’s trauma).
We immediately began a round of TAI, as the trigger was clear:
- “I take back my power and release the energy trapped in this scene.”
- “I let go of the attachment and identification with this scene.”
- “I create order and balance within myself in relation to this scene.”
I asked Gabriella what had changed or surfaced for her during this round. She said she felt a strong sense of helplessness, which we worked through with the following phrases:
- “I take back my power and release the energy trapped in this feeling.”
- “I let go of the attachment and identification with this feeling.”
- “I create order and balance within myself in relation to this feeling.”
She confided, “I feel anguished and helpless because I wanted to give her life.” We did a round of phrases on this tormenting fantasy as well. The anguish dropped to 4.
She recalled Elena as a child and felt guilty—“maybe,” she said—about not giving her enough affection, as she had to work and the little girl often stayed with her grandmother.
I suggested another round of phrases to cleanse and rebalance the field of memories:
- “I take back my power and release the energy trapped in the fantasy that I didn’t give her enough affection.”
Gabriella was once again filled with the familiar sense of astonishment that follows our work together—how much lighter she felt after just a few rounds of phrases.
She could breathe better, expand her lungs, and there was no longer the sense of oppression when she thought about Elena’s final moments. Her energy levels had also increased. She felt more invigorated.
I saw Gabriella again in mid-January. She told me, “I don’t know how it’s possible… I was skeptical. I only tried the Techniques because I trusted you and what you were saying, but I must say, they really work. What amazes me most is that the disturbing thoughts don’t come back. My mind works differently now and doesn’t go backward. The memories of Elena are still there, but they’re no longer destructive.”
I asked her how she felt on the 3rd of each month now. “The memory is, and always will be, indelible. There are still moments when I cry because I miss her, but now I am at peace, and I sleep well every time.”
It’s me who is astonished by her and how quickly she was able to process such a great loss. I’m so grateful for this unique trait of hers.
Each of us has our own pace, and while I recognize my own slower pace and love it as it is, I admit I wouldn’t mind having an extra gear like Gabriella.
PAOLA FRANCESCHETTI
Phone: 3475836068
Website: www.paolafranceschetti.com